Most of it promised Teenage mother the madness comes later Teen Mom: Family Vacation, especially after Farrah arrives.
Even the premiere showed that the premise was a recipe for disaster – in a good way.
Good for the viewers. Not so good for the picture of some of the mothers.
Things almost came to a head after a round of “scream therapy” and it was only the first night.
The premise, as presented on the screen, is that Maci Bookout and Cheyenne Floyd provided the escape, but not the guest list.
It seems that Maci and Cheyenne had no idea who else could show up – and that seems at least true.
“I want the mothers to realize that we are much more alike than we are different,” Maci said at the resort.
“And,” she thought, “there is a lot to learn from each other.”
In a deeply sad reminder of how much their lives were changing, Maci added, “This is going to be the spring break we never had.”
Cheyenne sounded a little less optimistic and observed “a lot of pettiness” among some of the cast.
Still, she expressed a hope that this experience could bring some of them closer together.
The ladies arrived and had a meeting and greet a mixer.
It was here that Maci and Cheyenne first learned that Farrah Abraham wanted to be part of the group.
“We never got along with her,” Maci remarked, “but we also said we should involve everyone.”
Maci correctly added about Farrah: “She’s just evil.”
With Farrah’s ominous arrival still in the future, the opening conflicts had more to do with Jade, Briana and Ashley.
Jade and Briana felt that Ashley had been disrespectful to them on social media.
Jade wanted to stay away, Ashley just wanted to be Fake Nice (you know, as an adult), but it backfired with this crowd.
To throw gas on the fire, the production includes a life coach at the mixer.
Life coaches work well on reality TV because they have no sense of shame, are immune to creepiness, and encourage unnecessary confrontation as “therapeutic.”
That’s exactly what this one did, and pushed the mothers to solve all their problems the first night.
She did not stop there, but pushed the ladies to participate in something called “scream therapy”.
Literally, the mothers were asked to scream something that they did not like about themselves or anyone in the group.
This waking nightmare unfolded, and some of the answers were almost comical to the mark.
Leah admitted she has real trouble trusting people.
Amber, instead of taking responsibility for any of her heinous acts, shouted about the men she has dated.
Maci admitted her fear that she “is not enough.”
Briana, of course, raised a few eyebrows by complaining about “falsehood.”
Not afraid to make her subtitle an explicit critique, she made it clear that she was talking about Ashley.
Because Ashley had been aggressive online but fake nice at the resort (you know, as an adult), Briana thought it was “f – ked up.”
“I feel like it could have been inflated considering we’re both on TV,” Ashley said.
“I think if you and I had a chance to talk, it would have been different,” she added.
Ashley admitted: “I probably should never have said s – t, so I’m sorry.”
“I’m big enough to say I should never have said s – t,” Ashley confirmed.
She then stated, “And how you move forward is how you move forward.”
Jade, however, was not willing to drop it.
“What I see here, how you speak to me, is a different person than what I have experienced online,” Jade remarked.
“You’re trying to bully me online, you’re trying to beat me down, saying all these really toxic things,” she accused.
“I’m coming here and you’re cordial and you’re fine … but then I’ve seen you online say ugly things,” Jade remarked. “I feel like it’s two different people.”
This heated confrontation took place at close quarters.
Amber, herself familiar with how anger can turn into violence, expressed concern that this could turn into physical.
Ashley promised she had no plans to hit anyone, and continued to try to apologize for her behavior.
Jade did not have it and shouted: “We all have our own f – king problems!”
“Come to me as an f-king adult,” she demanded, “do not attack me online!”
That was when producers who shared Amber’s concerns stepped in to create some space between the women.
Cheyenne watched this unfold at a distance and breastfed his wine.
Maci wondered, “Literally night one? This is going to be a long trip!”
The life coach, on the other hand, was happy and encouraged by the controversial mess that had unfolded.
Nothing was actually resolved, but Ashley now accused Jade and Briana of being “fake as f – k!”
Security had to step in to prevent Jade from reacting badly.
Ashley coped with the situation by tweeting her in an attempt to mock her.
“I’ve never actually seen anyone twerke and quarrel at the same time,” Cheyenne wondered.
Amber described, “I have a whole damn movie in front of me.”
This is just the beginning of the nonsense … and Farrah is not even there yet. What a world.
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